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Author: heather

Wasteland to Garden

These twenty years or more

dried out the soil,

the salt of unshed tears

a poison on the landscape.

A few plants bearing fruit,

these children with their roots

outside the borders

… but desolation reigns

where bright sun

shows no mercy.

Blame is easiest,

and entangled in the thorns

there is guilt, and wide holes of lack,

deep craters of need.

The thought of joy

a scythe,

cutting the last dry stalks,

a mirage of hope

that fades in withering light.

So many flee,

afraid of dessication,

sure that greener pastures offer flowers.

When hope is gone,

when scrambling stops,

there is a way of sinking

so the taproot

descends,

gives up all climb.

Deep beneath the earth,

invisible and forgotten,

cool water flows.

Not a sprinkler,

not a well,

nothing crafted or designed,

no forced spraying.

There is no way to make a garden grow.

One plant,

one single being,

can only drink in its own absorption.

The nurturing flow is drawn upwards

through the single thread,

the buried toes.

One greening leaf.

One catalyst for change,

the meeting place of water and sun

making sweetness to feed the tendril.

The longed-for rain

does not fall,

but rises.

And in the greening

there is space for deeper joy,

the solitary depth

where connection is complete,

and joy tastes like a whisper

on a private tongue.

The tangled weeds

that choke

are sometimes scoured away,

abrasive wind of grace.

Or soft soil at the base

of one green plant

allows for gentle tugging,

patient pruning.

By laying bare the rocks,

creating soft hollows,

flourishing from within,

one tiny speck in the desert

can thrive while it waits for rain.

And I have seen it come,

have trembled at the unexpected green,

have stared in admiration

while flowers bloomed

and joy became a sound

that echoed on the petals,

wild and fertile.

Surrender

I surrender,

no fight left,

the holding gone…

green shaking as the aspens dance,

trembling joy diminished into words,

semaphore of aeons fore and aft,

drowning in a tender gasp of gratitude.

Be loved

beloved;

grace carries all this breathing;

aspire, inspire, expire

as a way of making room

for universal air.

Friend

I’m happy to see

the rooms you’ve made beautiful,

pleased to watch you show your treasures,

glad to smile at your newfound wealth…

but will you let me peek over your shoulder

through doors just slightly ajar?

Can you hint at uncertain chaos, lurking?

or the promise of spring,

an open window unvisited?

May I walk beside you

to the edges of what you know?

Will you hold my hand to soften darkness,

and dance when there is music?

Bell on a Train

Start with what you have,

soft muscles that relax

to make space for air,

some movement in the body.

The memory of love.

A yearning pang of need

like a bell on a train,

music on a journey.

Watch how you listen to it ring;

do you leap, alarmed and urgent?

Or is there time to listen to it echo,

to hear it rattle and shake,

to breathe in unexpected resonance?

Is there any room to smile?

The scenes flit past,

and can you tell that you are travelling?

Are you free from the burden of destination?

Paintbrush

Help me track my life

like a paintbrush

sliding on the day,

daubed with unexpected colours

that leave traces

where I am moved,

the supple tip of my wet bristles

delicate in connection.

Not the mover,

not with some grand design in mind’s eye,

held by an unseen hand,

sometimes with precision

or gripped in a stronger passion,

knowing I can be flung aside,

but still and hard along my length,

flexible where I meet the day,

trailing a messy beauty.

Awake through the storm

Awake through the storm,

I saw dark clouds

and listened to wet disturbance,

watched as gossamer billows dumped water on the hills,

felt cold that looked like snow.

I witnessed the sad burden of the grey,

the struggle of no visible dawn.

Startled by the hole,

the southern break,

a flash of sun and blue,

I watched the emptied white,

the fluffy scrub that wiped towards the north.

Cupped in two dark hands,

the vista is caressed,

bright radiance contained

in stormy contours.

More like a garden

More like a garden

than a flower

… the withering and blossoming at once,

red fruit still green underneath,

deep purple falling off the branch

or pecked by those who need it.

The fertilizer smells,

supports the hidden bulbs,

feeds the brilliant lilies worshipping the sky.

Weeds choke the upward thrust,

or maybe they’re exuberant survivors,

tenacious and grateful travellers

expanding their zone of safety.

No linear time,

decay is here;

brown dry stalks

whisper to fresh green,

pods burst with full abundance,

seeds fall and feed and grow

or die to nourish soil.

There are no useless flowers,

each petal changing shape,

a supple moist reflection of pure light,

creating a symphony of colour.

True nature

She plays at being a poet,

the garret not too tall,

while the mermaids and princesses

and cowboys and mimes,

the bakers and seducers,

dance and yell and play close by.

True nature is a ball of light,

a river of love,

a diverse sameness flowing through it all.

Under the masks,

the light peeps through,

the poet rests in her observations.

Come and play,

whispers the princess,

motions the mime.

Play, and come, grins the seducer,

the cowboy.

Swim with us, gurgles the mermaid.

Taste it, the baker offers.

Even as the garret melts,

she lingers at the edge,

amazed by her own reluctance

to join the game,

her fear of jumbled costumes freely given.

Is she waiting for the next invitation?

When the children all gather with outstretched hands?

Children don’t play like that.

There is freedom in the circle,

a loose binding,

a jumping wildness,

no leader in shared rhythms.

Light refracted,

bent light moving through each prism,

or bouncing off the leaves

or mermaid scales

or cowboy hat

… colour blossoms through the bending.

Play with masks and costumes,

clutter up the games,

notice where you’ve lingered at the edges;

welcome you into belonging.

on Nina’s Wise book

This silk scarf

is for sharing;

you can play with it on the lawn

or dance while it supports the fluttering.

You can watch your women friends

bring out their own intricate and bold beauty,

show your men friends the sleek colours

that can soften the room.

You can wrap your head or shoulders

so that each bow, touching earth with forehead,

is not just a descent

but has the airy slither of decadent honouring.

You can drape it as the last cover

to be drawn back

in the hot tension of the bedroom,

its cool protections sliding to the floor.

Bright days and dark,

you can spread it on the dirt,

the artistry of paint or pen or leaves

can change its tale,

a daily re-imagining.

swallowed howl

He howled like a dog,

filling the space with sound

to greet the day,

and was startled

when our neighbour howled back.

He flushed,

and grinned

and begged me to howl

and I encouraged him

and yipped a little

but could not find the sound

for bellowing my presence on the land.

A tenderness of leash,

of perceptual unfreedom,

a skittering of ego

on the river ice in spring,

a moose afraid to drown.

Lessons in captivity,

these awkward losses

poignant in their pregnancy.