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ego death, protracted

They belong in the wood boiler

those poems,

about the way the young lover

took me by surprise

even though it was planned

from my first gasp,

and the way I was a madam

in the whorehouse

that I never even saw

or knew the way to.

 

It is not fun,

but perhaps necessary

to let the ego run around the room

for what might be the last time,

watch the way it preens

or has a tantrum of unrequited need

that it calls love,

because it has no other word.

 

There is a hot spring nearby

that has a source

and runs back into the earth

so it is not trapped

but fully fluid.

 

My pretty ego,

my Gollum in disguise,

my crying child

and frustrated mid-life lover

intermingled

can feel the draw of warmth

by the water’s edge

and are getting ready

but not gracefully

to enter.

Published inPoems