You cannot engineer this birth:
the waiting is necessary
not as a condition or a chiding
but simply a fact of body and life.
You can ignore it in the bustle of the season,
moving through your house or lack of one
with a great intensity of nesting
that you may not even notice.
You can prepare for it with deep attention,
creating space with kindness,
arranging for support and towels,
quiet perfume and music;
but this gestation has no timeline.
You can feel the kicks inside
or choose to re-interpret the burgeoning.
None of it matters. Whether you choose
quiet room or street,
warm women or the cab,
the birthing will grip you,
the pain and joy will seize you
willing or unwilling,
there is no control required
and it only prolongs the pain,
delays relief.
And even the relief
is not a place of rest
but a tender joy in knowing
that the pain of life with love
has just begun.